apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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