How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize