I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize