Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
