it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
