I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so let's talk penis.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
