i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Randomize