I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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