You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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