I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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