She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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