He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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