So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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