don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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