whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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