dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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