I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
