I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
