He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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