I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
