last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
BRING THE BAGELS
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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