He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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