dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize