The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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