you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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