I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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