the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize