Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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