she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
