so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
