My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
