Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
