i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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