What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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