Will you blow on my dice?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
