people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
