U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Blood and glitter go together right?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
