worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize