I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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