but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
