YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
