i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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