Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
