He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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