somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
BRING THE BAGELS
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
