Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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