Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
