Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize