they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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