I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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