Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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