I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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