Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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