everyone is single if you try hard enough
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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