So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
