So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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