I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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