the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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