And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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