I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You are a genius and a whore.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
