Will you blow on my dice?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
