I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize