i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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