New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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