Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
