when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
