So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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