im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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