My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
