this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
