You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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