Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
