you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
